It’s that time of year again, and I am not just referring to the carols, tinsel, shopping and excruciating traffic. It is Filipino movie season again as the Metro Manila Film Festival (MMFF) 2007 reels off in local movie theaters today extending until the first few weeks of the new year.

Once again, Filipino films take the limelight and a varied mix of opinions, reactions and criticisms is bound to fly around sparking intrigue, provoking tempers and even eliciting laughter and derision.

I got an amusing text which seems to say quite a mouthful about Filipino movies. It went like this (it sounds better in Tagalog so I just included the translation for non-Pilipino-speaking readers):

Sampung katangian na makikita lamang sa pelikulang Pilipino (10 characteristics that can be seen only in Filipino movies):

1. Naka-leather jacket ang kontrabida kahit mainit (The villain wears a leather jacket even if it’s hot).

2. Maraming habilin habang naghihingalo (The dying character has many last-minute messages while catching last breath).

3. May amnesia ang bida (the protagonist/lead actor has amnesia).

4. Sinasabi ng bida ang title ng pelikula (the protagonist says the title of the film).

5. Huling dumating ang pulis (the police are always last to arrive).

6. Naduduwal pag buntis (if the character is pregnant, she is nauseated and vomits).

7. Kakausapin muna bago dalhin sa ospital (they would talk to the sick person or victim first before bringing him/her to the hospital).

8. Nag-uusap muna ang bida at kontrabida bago magbarilan (the protagonist/hero and the antagonist/villain talk first before they exchange gunfire).

9. Kinakausap ng artista ang sarili (the character talks to himself/herself).

10. Pansit ang pasalubong sa pamilya (the take home food to the family is fried Oriental noodles).

Whoever wrote the list must have watched many Filipino films because the elements listed are characteristics of the typical pelikulang Pilipino. The puzzling thing is that the writers, producers and directors must be aware of how trite these scenes are, yet they still resort to the same formulas.

More Pinoy movie-isms

Here are more interesting characteristics perceptible in Filipino movies.

1. The dialogues are usually not in synch with the picture because most movies are dubbed. This can be very disconcerting to the viewer. Furthermore, there is a perceptible lack of consideration for sound space or depth; example of this is when you see a long shot (far) of a couple on the beach yet their voices sound like they are too close to the mic. Their voices should sound far, too, for better sound realism.

2. Movie titles are usually titles of songs (which of course is the theme song) or play of words on the “in” expression of the moment.

3. If there’s a hit Hollywood movie, there’s bound to be a Pinoy version.

4. You know that the monster is about to appear because scary background music pounds in.

5. When the scene gets emotional, sentimental music creeps in.

6. Kicks and punches seldom really hit the actors. They let the sound effects suggest the reality of the impact.

7. Group shots always look like they are posing for a photo or facing a firing squad.

8. The scenes lack foley. These are the ambient sounds that are within hearing distance during the scene like the sound of traffic, hissing of the wind, voices of other people near the scene, etc.

9. Gays are always portrayed as exaggeratedly effeminate, loud and screaming, and usually get hit (nababatukan), providing comic relief.

10. The viewer can foretell the ending even without finishing the film.

What’s really wrong?

If you have a gentle heart and consider the fact that the Philippine movie industry is in its infancy compared to American and other national film industries (not taking into account the third-world budgetary constraints imposed on most productions), you would just close your eyes to the “small, forgivable faux pas and scapegoat formulas filmmakers resort to.

The real culprit I surmise is the “Pwede na ‘yan (that will do)!” attitude and mentality ingrained in the Filipino consciousness. We as a people make do with mediocrity and just shrug, “Pwede na ‘yan. Di na ‘yan mapapansin (that will do; it won’t get noticed)!” Unless we delete this pwede na ‘yan mentality, we will never progress.

= fin=

Pagkatapos mag-’beep’ e bumulaga sa screen ng monitor ko ang ganito: “I am still waiting for the strawberry you promised from baguio” or something to that effect kasi di ko masyadong matandaan, basta kinlick ko na lang yung ‘ok’ button sa may baba. Bukas kaagad ako ng email ko nagbabakasakaling makita sa inbox ko kung sinuman ang nag-email sa akin ng message na nasa taas! Zero inbox naman ang nakalagay! So punta ako sa website ng NBA at ayun! simula na ng laban. Talo ang lakers, waaaa!

Kahapon bumulaga uli yung “strawberry from baguio” message pagbukas ko ng pyuter ko! As usual wala namang email sa akin! Nampucha! Pinaglalaruan yata ako ng maligno! Tinawag ko yung taong nag-assemble ng PC ko upang tignan kasi alam kong may email ako pero pag binubuksan ko yung inbox ko e zero naman ang nakalagay!

Ayun! Kaya pala! Malware daw ang buwiset at hindi email. Nahinto tuloy ang pagbabrowse ko ng internet kahapon dahil sa pagtanggal ng malware na iyun!

Kung sinoman ang nagpadala ng malware na ito sa akin , salamat at may natutunan ako pero on the other side of it e mahiya ka naman sa sarili mo dahil pinagmumukha mong engot ang mga ‘clueless’ na kagaya ko. Akala ko pa naman email, yun pala…pwe!

At dahil nga buwan ngayon ng bonus at mga pamasko, naengganyo akong sumama sa sweetheart ko upang mamili ng ipamamahagi sa mga kamag-anak (but deep inside i dont want to shell-out my yearlong, hard-earned money sa mga inaanak na di ko alam kung paano ko naging inaanak, hehehe) Ang talagang rason kung bakit sumama ako ay upang malaman kung ano ba talaga ang ‘Divisoria’ at para itong bato-balani na humihigop sa mga mamimili.

Sa madaling salita, narating ko ang ‘Divisoria’. Reaksiyon!? Waaaaa… ayoko nang pumunta ulit! Kesehodang barilin ninyo ako pero hindi na talaga ako aapak doon. Hindi ako maarteng tao, pero hindi ko pinangarap ang masiko, maapakan ang paa, madikitan ng ewan ko kung uhog o laway sa katawan, makipagtawaran sa mga intsik na hindi ko malaman kung nagtatagalog o ngongo! Mura nga talaga ang bilihin pero juiceko day kulang pa ang natipid mong pera para panggamot sa kunsumisyong napala mo!

Inaamin ko lakwatsero ako, pero naglalakwatsa ako upang sumaya at hindi upang punuin ng pagmumura ang aking isipan dahil sa kunsumisyon. Naisip ko tuloy kung may kapangyarihan lang ako, gagawin kong ‘per section’ ang paligid ng Divisoria.

Section 1 – Para lamang sa mga katulad kong ibig sumaya dahil mura ang mga nabili

Section 2 – Para sa mga taong maarte at pormang mayaman na nagagalit kapag nadidikitan

Section 3 – Para sa mga taong walang pakialam kung makasakit ng kapwa dahil akala mo mauubusan ng bibilhin

Section 4 – Para sa mga taong inaabot ng isang taon sa pakikipagtawaran kahit na nakaharang sa daraanan(kaya nagsisikip minsan e, ‘di ba!?)

Ewan ko kung tama itong naisip ko pero pramis talaga, hinding-hindi na ako babalik dun!

Pero kuwidaw ka… wag kang tatabi sa akin pag natatalo ang team ko at baka masipa kita sa mukha. Ewan ko ba? Naranasan niyo na ba yung napapanood mo e parang ikaw ang nasa eksena? Yun bang pag natatalo yung bida e gusto mong ikaw na ang pumatay dun sa kalaban. Lahat ng klase ng mura e nasabi mo na, hehehe, pati si taning e natatakot!

Ganyan ako minsan…lalo na pag may topak.

Eto pala ang ibig sabihin ng ‘blog’! Pinaikling web log. Parang diary pero published sa internet para mabasa ng lahat. Anyway, unang post ko kaya hindi ko pa alam ang pasikot-sikot dito! Pasasaan ba’t magagamay ko rin! Hanggang dito na lang muna.

Happy Holidays nga pala sa mga readers!!!